You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Funny’ category.

Today, at 6:00pm, I realized I had not had a single thing to drink all day. You read correctly. Not a single liquid has passed through my lips since crawling out of bed this morning. The saddest part? The only reason I stopped to recall if I had consumed any drinks today was because I was feeling extremely lightheaded and dizzy. I dehydrated myself for an entire day.

That does it. No kids for 10 years for fear of killing one. Crap.

Does it count as “writing a blog” if I only post a video? :)

Keeping true to my promise, here are my seven quirks.  Welcome to the weirdness.

  1. I listen to music I like over and over again.  Anyone of my former college roommates will tell you this is true.  If I am introduced to a song I enjoy, I will listen to it until I can’t stand it anymore.  This can last for months.  Some of these repeat songs include: The Kingdom by Bethany Dillon, Hosanna by Hillsong United, Fresh Feeling by The Eels, Save the Last Dance For Me by Michael Buble, Praise to the Lord, the Almighty by Christy Nockels, Your Song by Elton John, Umbrella by Marie Digby, anything by Sara Groves and, as of recently, Today by Joshua Radin and Mighty to Save by Laura Story.  I highly recommend all these songs. :)
  2. I. Love. Soft. Things.  Clean laundry, unusually fluffy towels, Drew’s freshly shaven face, puppies…doesn’t matter.  If it’s soft, I want to rub my face on it.
  3. Please don’t try to get out of the car before I unlock the doors.  It’s a small pet peeve of mine: the passenger unlocking the door and getting out before I do.  I have a get-out-of-the-car routine.  Put the car in park, pull emergency brake, unbuckle my seatbelt, turn off the ignition, THEN unlock the doors and get out.  It must be done in that order.  
  4. Almost every morning, I wake up with a random song in my head.  I noticed this in college when I would wake up, step in the shower and realize I was humming a song.  These songs are extremely random and are not necessarily songs I have heard recently.  They have included I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston, Show You the World from Aladdin, and the Charmin Ultra commercial jingle.
  5. I love buying new shampoo.  It’s like buying clothes.  I could spend hours in the shampoo aisle.  And there’s nothing like the feeling of blow drying my freshly shampooed/conditioned hair.
  6. Books about death fascinate me.  Drew posted about this strange interest of mine already, but it’s definitely worth being on this quirks list.  I ripped through a book about death in Yellowstone and am now plowing through death in the Grand Canyon.
  7. I cannot be awake by myself.  There is nothing I hate more than being awake ALONE.  If I wake up in the middle of the night, even to go to the bathroom, I wake Drew up.  I know I sound like a terrible person.  I just can’t stand it!  Kaley can attest to this as well, being my roommate when I went through a season where I thought demons were after me.  You are a good woman, Mrs. Patria.  And Drew, you are a fantastic husband.

I tag Kaley, LP, and Fisch!

And the game of blog-tag continues! Here are seven “quirky” things about yours truly:

  1. I love maps to an abnormal degree. I could be entertained for hours just reading an atlas, or looking around Google Maps. As a result, I’m a self-proclaimed whiz at geography. (Seriously, next time you see me, try to stump me!) I love seeing my dad’s side of the family because they’re all geography dorks too, and we have contests to see who can stump everybody else. (This past summer on our road trip, I stumped everyone except my Aunt Genny on the capital of Azerbaijan.)
  2. I freak out about little noises in my car. If there’s any kind of rattling or creaking, I seriously can’t relax until I know what it is and how to make it stop. This drives Drea insane, as I frequently assign her the task of locating the noise and stifling it.
  3. Thinking about cottage cheese makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. OK, not literally (yet), but let’s face it, folks: cottage cheese is disgusting. For me, it’s the texture. I mean, what is cottage cheese? Simply put, it’s a thick, semi-firm, creamy goo with chunks in it. That is simply horrifying. I think if I went on Fear Factor and had to choose between eating cow brain and cottage cheese, I might just go for the cow brain.
  4. I suck at team sports. To anyone who’s ever seen my “game”, this probably comes as no surprise. I’m a half-decent swimmer and distance runner, and I’m trying to get better at tennis, but I’m pretty much useless in games like football, basketball, or soccer. Simple tasks such as correctly throwing a football or sinking a basketball into a hoop are daunting challenges for me. My hand-eye coordination is probably comparable to that of a kindergartner. I have 8-year-old cousins who can beat me at “horse”. It’s sad, really. But it’s OK because my macho map-reading skills really make up for it.
  5. I habitually twirl my hair. I will inadvertently reach up and twirl a certain tuft of hair in the back of my head, especially when I’m tired. The tuft then takes on a life of its own, protruding “alfalfa-style” from my head and taking on a tangly coarse texture. It makes me look like quite an ass, which is why I’m careful not to do it until I’m home for the night, so only Drea can make fun of me (until now, of course.)
  6. The door thing. When I was little, I loved doors of any kind. The simple open-and-close mechanism fascinated me to an untold degree. I used to sit at my grandmother’s house and open and close her cabinet doors for hours. My mom used to reward me for good behavior at the grocery store by letting me run in and out of the automatic doors multiple times. I’m told that this made me an easily entertained child. (You’re welcome, Mom and Dad.) While the door phase has long since passed, I’m still generally fascinated by how things work. I love watching those extreme building/engineering shows on the Discovery and History channels about how they designed Japan’s “floating” airport, or a record-breaking roller coaster, or the world’s tallest building.
  7. I have eaten the same sandwich for lunch for the past six months. Drea packs my lunch most days (score), and about six months ago I decided that a turkey, pastrami, and cheese sandwich on pumpernickel bread sounded simply delicious. It’s now the only sandwich my sweet wife makes me, and it hits the spot every time. I try not to be close-minded about anything, but that sandwich hasn’t failed me yet, and I intend to continue my discrimination against all other lunchmeat sandwiches until further notice.

Drea has promised to list her quirks here as well, so you guys will have to hold her accountable! I’d also like to tag the Janes as the next “it” people. We know you guys are a couple of weirdo’s, so let’s hear about it!

Quirkily yours,

Drew

While I do believe that Jesus is my friend, I have to poke fun at this video.

The people in this video are absolutely serious.  And I have never seen better punctuation out of a lead singer.

If you want to see more like this, visit this post.

That is the first name of a girl in New Zealand.

Yes. Her parents named her “Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.”

I would write more, but, well, I think that pretty much sums it up!

Everytime we pass a Sherwin Williams truck on the highway, I have to cringe in disgust. Seriously, ask Drew. I absolutely hate their logo.

Who came up with this horrible campaign? Cover the earth? With paint?! I know they’re not actually serious, but the first time I saw this ad, I immediately pictured what this ad portrays – someone dumping paint over the globe, covering everything with manufactured, fuming, red paint. Yeah, red. Like, you know, the color of blood?

Probably not what Sherwin Williams advertising team was going for.