So Drea and I are going with her parents to Nashville in a few weeks to celebrate her grandmother’s 100th birthday.  (And the woman is still in relatively good health.  Holy crap, right?)

Anyway, since it’s like an 11-hour drive from DC (hell, no), I’ve been trying to figure out the most time- and cost-effective way of getting there.  Flying is way expensive, so I thought, hey, why not take Amtrak?

Until I learned that Nashville doesn’t have an Amtrak station.  That’s right.  Nashville, the Athens of the South, the Country Music Capital of the World, this mainstay city of our land, is obviously not important enough to be serviced by our nation’s main rail transport provider.

This might not seem like such a big deal, but to put it in perspective, here are a few places that DO have Amtrak:

Winnemucca, Nevada

Bartlesville, Oklahoma

Yazoo City, Mississippi

Oshkosh, Wisconsin

What, you’ve never heard of any of these places?  EXACTLY. 

I’m going to try to convince Stephen Colbert to give a wag of the finger to both Nashville and Amtrak for this shameful debacle.  Deterring rail travel is bad for traffic congestion, bad for the environment, and (infinitely more importantly) bad for me because we now have to fork over $300 a piece for airfare!